The Self-Confidence Formula
“It is not who you are that holds you back, it is who you think you are not.”
In my previous career, I suffered from “imposter syndrome”.
I discovered later that this was apparently a common phenomenon in that professionals at some point in their career experience feelings of inadequacy coupled with a fear that everything they had accomplished to date was through sheer luck.
It did not feel good. I felt like a fraud, but worse – instead of opening up to my peer group where I could have talked it through and build confidence, I was afraid to be seen as the only incompetent one; so I pretended to be doing just fine.
The point is that my self-image at the time dictated my results. I failed to internalize my accomplishments since they did not fit with the image of myself that lived in my unconscious mind at the time.
Maxwell Maltz, author of the stunning little book “Psycho-Cybernetics” puts it this way:
“Self-image sets the boundaries of individual accomplishment.”
Your image of your life controls your life.
Our self- image is the picture of ourselves which we hold internally. It is the control mechanism in our mind that determines what comes into our lives and how well we do what we do.
The image we hold of ourselves controls how we live in the world, how we look, how we talk and the results we get. It influences every part of ourselves. A limited image will lead to limited results.
When we deviate from the image which we hold of ourselves, it will bring us right back to fit the picture. It acts like a cybernetic mechanism that brings us back on course. This is why for example weight loss programs don’t always work. If the internal image we hold of ourselves doesn’t change, we will sooner or later find the weight that we had lost and put it straight back on.
Our self-image is genetically inherited and also built in early life. Children raised with praise are more likely to have a positive image in later life than those raised with criticism.
We also build our beliefs about ourselves, who we are and what we can do, from the thoughts that we entertain about a subject. When we repeat the same thoughts over and over, or when a sudden impactful experience causes us to have strong thoughts and feelings, we develop beliefs around those thought patterns.
The good news is that we can change our self-image. Just decide you’re gonna make it happen. What’s holding you back?
You can write a new script, for a new you who you want to be and a new life you want to live.
STEP 1: Learn more about yourself.
Who are you really? Do you know what you’re capable of?
Start investing more into your self. Find your purpose.
Confident individuals have an understanding of who they are; the dynamics of their personalities,
their spirituality and the power of their mind.
Bob Proctor has a favorite saying: “Your spiritual DNA is perfect.”
What does this mean? It refers to the fact that we have been created in the image of God and that
there is perfection at the center of our consciousness. Our perfection is buried in “virus code”
of limiting beliefs, self-doubt and negative paradigms (a multitude of habits that live in the subconscious mind).
That is why the more you learn about yourself and what you’re capable of, the more you will come to like yourself. People who understand this, like themselves. Those who don’t, may feel inferior and be super critical of themselves and hence develop a poor self -image.
The more you study you, the more your perfection shines through.
“God’s gift to us is more talent and ability than we can ever use. Our gift to God is to develop as much as we can of that talent and ability.”
STEP 2: Create a new self – script.
Think star not supporting player.
Deliberately and consciously decide who you want to be. Pick qualities that you admire in others and picture yourself as having those qualities.
Write your future life story as if it is already happening. Write down a description in the present tense.
STEP 3: Read your script every day.
Relax and see yourself as the person who you want to become. Act as if you are that person and live like that person.
See yourself doing the thing you want to do.
STEP 4: Take action
In order to conquer self-limiting beliefs, taking action is key.
“Motion beats meditation,”
The keys to overcoming many of our self-limiting beliefs are 1) recognizing them, 2) understanding how we got them and 3) banishing them through sustained activity.
Start from where you are and take baby steps if you must.
Many of us are taught to measure ourselves against celebrated individuals and the accomplishments of others. Instead, why don’t we rather measure ourselves based on what we are discovering and doing? By worrying about measuring up to someone else, we miss the reward of being present to our own experiences of growth.
It also helps to live in the moment, putting aside your ultimate goal to simply focus on the nuts and bolts
of your progress.
For years, I was thinking that I wasn’t good enough in what I’m doing. I was measuring myself against others and felt inferior. I was waiting for confirmation or approval from others before I moved forward. I was perpetually working towards another qualification, certification or completing another training.
The truth was – I was stalling and needed to have an honest talk with myself.
To fight the “I’m-not-as-good-as” syndrome, we can learn to celebrate baby steps or milestones and thereby create the habit of progressing forward – of advancing.
When you think about all the struggles we go through in life, a lot of it stems from our self-limiting beliefs. When we replace negative limiting beliefs about ourselves with positive images that focus on our potential, our success increases exponentially.
Finally, enjoy the ride by surrounding yourself with people who will uplift you and hold you to a high standard.
Find a free resource here: Commit this self-confidence formula to memory, repeat it aloud once a day with full FAITH that it will gradually influence your THOUGHTS and ACTIONS so that you will become a self-reliant, and successful person.